May Epistle

The Lesson of the Lawn

I recently was given the task of getting an overgrown yard back to a manageable state: it was my own. Indeed it was a monumental task, but the lessons that mingled themselves into grass cutting were distinct and invaluable. We will examine them briefly here.

Lesson1: You can talk to God anytime, anywhere. As I began to get ready to tackle “the yard” I had to survey the responsibility of such a task. Not only did I have to do it by myself, it had overgrown so much until I didn’t know how to begin. At that moment I heard the Lord speak softly to my spirit, “You are more than a conqueror through Him that loved us”. Immediately my emotion was excitement but it quickly dissipated to one of regret…”then why am I not conquering?” It was then that I entered a 2 hour talk with God about the facts of life. I learned that day that God is very much available to walk and work with us through the many difficulties we face on a daily basis. Although He didn’t remove me from the task, He did stay with me and keep my company all the way through it. “…and lo I’ll be with you always even til the end of the earth”. How comforting and reassuring that was for me to have my Heavenly Father assist me in my work.
Behavioral Change: I am more aware of God’s presence in my life on a daily basis. I make strategic effort to engage Him at all times. I make increased effort to guard my quiet time and make it robust and meaningful.

Lesson 2: Neglect is equally as powerful as committing sin. Part of my difficulty with getting the yard manageable again was the fact that I had let it go for so long. Sure I had good reason, in my mind anyway. It was winter and I’m tired of picking up leaves. Its spring and it keeps raining so the yard is too wet. Well, I’m so busy. I’ll get to it later. I’ll straighten it out before it gets too bad. I honestly believed I had good intentions. I genuinely intended to get it done…eventually. James says, “Faith without works is DEAD”. Exactly where my yard was headed; death. God showed me how this is often the case in relationships, spiritual matters, and behavior. We think that what we are faced with can be done later. This is reinforced when we see nothing bad happening as a result of our putting things off. The problem is, putting things off becomes easier and easier each time. Eventually, a pattern is formed. A neglect pattern. In my 10 years of private practice therapy with couples and families, without fail when they present with a problem that needs resolving, they always report that the problem has been going on for some time and they thought it would get better on its own. Usually when they reach me, the problem is at a breaking point for the family. “How similar it is in our lives”, I thought as I continued to cut the knee high grass. What things in my life have I neglected or put off until another day? Could I have spent more time with my son? What about my girls, who will teach them a healthy view of a father or a man? Lord what about my wife? Is she going to wake up one day and say, “I’m out of here” due to my neglect? What about my secret life. You know the things we don’t mention in public or in mixed company for fear we will be found out? Lord Help me with neglect. The remedy from heaven arrived that day and said, “Take it one day at a time. Do all in that day and don’t worry about tomorrow.” Now where have I heard that before?...”take no thought of what you will eat or drink or wear. Today has enough cares of its own…” As I look at the yard now, I’m positive there were warning signs that this was getting out of control. Did I ignore the warning signs? Sure I did. Not with malice and attitude but out of “I promise to get to it later”. Whatever the reason, the “issue” became unmanageable and needed immediate attention. When I started to cut the yard, I didn’t know where to begin. What was once an inconvenience in my schedule or an annoyance was now a major issue. Isn’t that how life goes? Whatever the reason, it now had to be done. The buck stops here. Take responsibility for your own actions. Don’t blame others. Sure things add to the difficulty in addressing it but you ultimately are responsible for it.
Behavior Change: I have started to better manage my time so that I can get all the things done that require my attention. I have also started to prioritize what has to be done immediately and so forth. I have neglected my health for a while now but recently, I started back walking a couple of miles before my day begins. I have cut back on my portions in an attempt to get a handle on my health. I have increased the amount of water I drink. I’m consistently meeting every morning for focused prayer and meditation. This is outside of my quiet time. I’m making the necessary adjustments to spend quality time with my children and wife. I’m getting my work done for work and school more efficiently so that I can go to bed at 10 or 11 instead of 2:30 or 3:30 each night. And yes, I’m keeping up with the yard weekly. It’s not so hard if you stay on top of it.

Lesson 3: You often tear up or injure the ones who try to care for you when things are at crisis level. While cutting the grass and making good progress, I thought, the lawnmower hit a snag and something went wrong. Since I’m not a mechanic I couldn’t tell you what went wrong except to say, where it was revved up, now it only made minimal sound. It appeared to slow down. It lost its energy. It didn’t have the same fight as it once did in tackling the yard. It continued to cut but at less than optimum standard. I thought to myself, “This is how we do ministers and counselors. We allow our stuff to get so bad until we have to call in the big wigs to help us get it back under control. The issues are so great though that we burn out or kill the person trying to help us.” As a therapist and minister I know too well how the problems of people have the potential to rob you of your zest. They impair you and it’s not even your problem. The lawn mower did nothing to deserve this monumental task but was willing to help eradicate it. In the process, the poor lawn mower met a horrible fate. LOL. Though dramatized, this scenario is so true of how we treat those who try to assist in getting our lives back together. The spouse who tries to help us with our addictions or our pain. The co-worker that tries to encourage us to do more and give more but is met with cynicism and negativity. The minister who invests time and energy into helping us see the desire and demands of God but they are met with apathy as we have no intention of changing our ways or our attitude about whatever brought us to them originally. For the sake of the helper, let’s change. If we leave our issues neglected we burn out the ones who agree to walk with us. They can’t help us anymore. They are burnt to a crisp in trying to help us see ourselves and make concession for our failures and mistakes.
Behavioral Change: I have more vigilance about asking those closest to me to pray for me. As I recognize my difficulty in asking for anything from people (based on my history) it has now become evident that God insists that I involve people in my life. They must help me along the way, not only when things go wrong. My response is to allow their assistance and feedback to permeate my soul and apply the Godly lessons offered. This is new ground for me. It implies a level of vulnerability but it is so necessary. This wards off neglect and willful offense as I know people are constantly praying and involved in my life and character. What a blessing. I accept it. I welcome it even if it’s uncomfortable.

I have learned many lessons from getting my lawn back to a manageable state. The lessons far out weigh the difficulties in learning them. I was recently doing my yard when a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in a while stopped by and complimented me on how good my yard looked (me getting a compliment on yard work…you know that’s God). He said, “I need to go and do the same thing that you are doing…”. Though I knew what he meant, my thought was, “what I do affects others. The work I’ve done to get my ‘house in order’ is being seen by others and inspiring them to greater works”. If that is true in yard work, how else could that principle be applied in my life and work? “…once you have received strength, strengthen your brother” “…as iron sharpens iron…” “…so that men will see your good works and GLORIFY YOUR FATHER IN HEAVEN”. That’s what I want: my life to be an example worthy of someone following it. Let people glorify God for the things they’ve seen in me.

Let’s do it!